| NOTE: The article below is purely fictional. It is reprinted with
permission from the March 25, 1997 issue of the Sagebrush, the newspaper
of the University of Nevada. The March 25th issue had been a parody issue
nicknamed the "Playbrush." Because of its content, we decided to reprint
in here, just for fun, but we in no way maintain that any of its content
is true, or that any malicious intent was meant toward the Native American
people.
INDIAN BURIAL GROUND SPOOKING NEW EDUCATION BUILDING
by Bobbo the Wondersquid, Staph Reporter
Graduate students from the paranormal syudies program reported
Wednesday that the new Education Building is haunted.
The statement confirmed previous concerns of ethereal inhabitants
voiced by construction workers and visiting faculty.
"Yup, when my Makita power drill started flyin' around tryin' to gouge
Jimbob's eyes out, I knew we had a problem," said Frank Barnson, a member
of the construction crew working on the building.
Reports of strange noises, flying projectiles and failure to meet
deadlines surrounded the building, as well as the disappearance of four
small, unidentified rodents, possibly squirrels.
The graduate students were called out as part of a pilot program in
the College of Social Sciences to research supernatural activity.
According to an ancient scroll found hidden on the ASUN website, the
new building was constructed atop a sacred Indian burial ground. The
student researchers agree that this is the most likely source of the
disturbance.
President Joe Fowley was mortified.
"What!? They didn't move the bodies!" he sputtered when asked for a
statement.
A spokesman from the Anthropology Club viewed the situation in a more
positive light.
"I think this is an excellent opportunity to gain a better
understanding of the influence of Native American culture on our society,
as well as a chance to study the customs and activities of the dead."
It was suspected that paranormal activity was also involved in
malfunctions at the nearby Journalism School's computer lab, but others
noted that Macintosh computers generally malfunction anyway.
"It's as if they are possessed," systems administrator Snarlee said as
his head spun around, his eyes rolled back and green pea soup spewed from
his mouth. "But we know there is a logical explanantion."
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